Eventually, as the items I collect accumulate (and collect dust), I find that they come to substantiate a more significant part of my identity. Generally, this occurs as a result of the trends/patterns that develop. I never imagined that I would suscribe to the belief that you are what you own, but I can not help admonishing the increasing significance of my inventory.
The trends/patterns initially develop without much personal intelligence. It is not as though I decide to start collecting furniture, or old recording equipment. Rather, I collect that which is available at the moment. Eventually, I find that the choices I have made, the streets that I have driven down, etc., have encouraged, rather unconciously, the development of a particular collection. It seems that the items I collect become more significant at the point of realization; the point at which I survey the used equipment within my room, and decide or realize that I possess a collection.
Current Collections/Sets:
Obscure paintings/prints of old urban thoroughfares.
Late seventies/early eighties Teac recording equipment (including mixer boards and reel to reel).
Lighting equipment – lamps, flourescent bulbs, hanging lights, paper boxed bulbs
Tables of various assortments and sizes.
Tape/Vinyl
Once I realize the potential for a substantial collection, I initiate the process of developing and refining each collection. I begin searching for items that will fit within the categories/trends that have been identified and established. I listen to the music I collect, and read the books under the various lighted fixtures. These items propel a particular way of living, or at the very least, an idea about how I should proceed in life. The trends have encouraged me to seriously consider how that which I have collected has begun to effect my personal life, social interactions, and the way that I live.
Essentially, my collections have developed into a framework for proceeding. This is not simply involved in the way that I proceed on garbage collection nights, but more generally. Reading over a copy of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, I can not help acknowledging the loss of ”beginner’s mind.” To paraphrase, the beginner’s mind is full of possibilities whereas the expert’s mind has few. It seems that conformity is one of the most significant issues to consider at this junction. Inevitably, I have developed what can be considered an “expert’s mind,” in relationship to the process of collecting trash. The choices I make conform to the choices that have already been made; to the collections that I realize. Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind emphasizes the importance of retaining a beginner’s stance. This is intimately related to the amount of effort/passion that one that begins is willing to devote. Expert’s mind is both self affirming and debilitating. The concept of expert’s mind suggests something entirely comfortable/controllable.
Simply, in conforming to the standards/trends that have already been established, I refuse the opportunities which may arise. Undoubtedly, giving up this framework is a process that I will struggle with immensely. This is not only the result of the shear difficult of living with a beginner’s mind. The difficulty also results from how intimately each collection is connected to what I claim as Identity. Perhaps it is time that I sell or dispose of some of the items that I possess.
